Don’t Be THAT guy

Just don’t. We have plenty of battles to fight without you and your attitude acting as a walking, breathing liability to us all. Who is “that guy” you ask? Well, its easy to spot him if you know what to look for.

-He is very ‘tacticool’ in his appearance from his expensive combat footwear to his entire 5.11 wardrobe that he feels is appropriate attire for his job at office depot.

-He tells “war stories” even though he was oddly too busy with other things to serve for about the past 10+ years of his life since he graduated high school, in spite of there being more than enough war to go around. He tells you about how he would have served if it weren’t for that damn miscellaneous injury.

-He has a profile picture featuring the awesome new Punisher grips that he bought for his 1911 at the gun show last weekend.

-He says things like “I wish an M-fer would …” even though he has never so much as taken an academic look at the reality of a life-threatening encounter.

-You drive past him on your way to the range for a class or a competition that he has chosen to forego in favor of standing on the corner with a slung rifle and a “come and take it” sign.  

-He has more accessories on his AR than he has hours on the range actually training to use it.

-He posts pictures of gun bunnies on social media like it’s his job even though he has no significant other to speak of.

-He has bumper stickers/t-shirts/yard signs that say things like “I don’t dial 911” or “keep honking, I’m reloading” that he bought at sketchy truck stops.

-He talks about being part of the “III%” but has absolutely no idea what the Federalist Papers are and couldn’t tell you the details about any specific historical event that he didn’t read about in an email forward.

-He reposts articles and thinks he knows the “truth” about JFK and 9/11 because he knew some guy who knew some other guy who the government is now watching.

-He fancies himself a prepper but only as it relates to taking out a second mortgage in order to make possible the hoarding of FMJ ammunition.

-He bought a stock AR right after Sandy Hook for like 7 grand because “something, brown shirts blah blah”.

-He believes that airsoft wars at the park next to the medieval roll player guys qualifies as legit force on force training.

-And last, but not least… He believes that Barack Obama is the reason that he is not loved, underpaid, misunderstood, overweight, angry, etc. It can’t possibly be that he is just a good ol’ fashioned d-bag. Never.

If you know that guy or think you might be turning into that guy: Take a deep breath, embrace your suburban existence, and find something to be proud of that isn’t directly related to your unfulfilled dream of becoming a Navy Seal that you never really attempted to make into a reality in the first place. We don’t look down on you for being what you are. On the contrary, we’re tired of you trying to be what you aren’t. You can carry a gun (concealed), go to the range, train, compete, and still be a normal, well-adjusted, nice person to be around. Be that guy. We need more of him.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.